Honest update

Helloo hellooooo
I’m at a place called veeertigooooooo
It’s everything I didn’t know
except you
gimmeh something

that was song lyrics by the way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVfhq1pe7nA that song has been stuck in my head a lot lately.

Anyways, howdy do! I gotta be honest – I haven’t updated this blog since hong kong for good reason which is basically because I’m just tired, which is strange considering I’m on vacation. whatever. So, we get into the country (Israel) and immediately there’s a lot of adjustment necessary – it hit us as soon as we left the airport. Hell, it hit us before we left the airport, when I had to run back into the airport from the carpark and the security lady stated busting my balls asking what I was doing where is your passport relax lady it’s all good I’m just a stupid tourist looking for my sister’s headphones.

THEN we got to the carpark where my dad had rented a car for some reason. Coolbeans, it was left hand drive though. Actually everyone drives on the wrong side of the road here. That means the left lane is the fast lane (isn’t that bizzare?) so we were tooted at a bit at first. Actually, that’s all these Israeli’s do on the road, damned cunts. Always always on the horn, always always ALWAYS! Wooo! It’s funny once you’ve adjusted but after a while it was just plain stressful, and I’m being honest.

Speaking of stressful, the food here sucks. Also, it’s so expensive like fuck oath, I’m paying the equilavent of twenty AUD for this bowl of shitty pasta with more sauce than pasta. And you want a tip as well? when your had to ask waiters twice for my water? Tip on this dickheads I paid for the meal using micro-shekels. Oh, I should explain that – basically everything in this country costs shekels but occasionally some stores price things at like 9.90 sheks so you get these useless 10 microshekel coins that you can buy nothing with. Speaking of money every last cunt in this country has set out to fleece my sorry arse, fuckin’ a’ my taxi driver charged me double because I didn’t know any fucking better (never been in israeli taxi + didn’t know how far the destination was + no meter in the cab?!?!) and the dickhead had theĀ  balls to try and increase the fee once we arrived at our destination EVEN THOUGH he picked up and dropped off other random customer on the way (though I think that’s common in this country). Turns out the government here also has an arbitrary 18% tax on everything, weee. Also our dollar is slightly weaker but whatever.

It’s really mainly just a combination of being jewed by the locals, shitty (well, mediocre once you find good places) food, having to go to bahai places all the time and the stresses associated with family. Fuck that’s first world but fuck off it’s honest to goodness homesickness.

Anyway. The reasons I have not been updating are highlighted above. Believe me when I say I have written pages of content on my phone and I have plenty of interesting photos and wacky videos of myself to share but I’ve hardly got motivation to drag my arse out of bed lately.

I’ve started eating a bit better and excercising more lately though, now that I’m more familiar with the neighbourhood I’m staying in and I am feeling better but sadfjhasdiufjhsadf I’ll have real updates up soon. Thanks for being patient, whatever, have a cool song for your trouble https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bbupert400

I’ll have those written posts up soon. Maybe (probably not). Still, they’ll be good, I’ve seen a lot of interesting things here. Also I have a missing day in hong kong which I still haven’t uploaded, as well photos videos from that

Bumming around

Sometimes you just ask yourself “man, what the fuck am I doing?”

Today was one such time. On the last day of our trip, we found ourselves inside Hong Kong’s very own Brand Name Overspend Emporium. 

Some brands you know and the rest you’ve never heard of. 

All the merchandise is ugly and out of your price range, unless you’re one of those dickheads who drops a couple hundred bucks on a pair of socks. At least the place was air conditioned…

 Some names you might recognise…


…and the ones you won’t




You do wonder whether or not they just made these names up.  

Quick addendum: right after writing that last line mum told me that miu miu and fendi are actual, real, respectable, not made up, legitimately prestigious brand names. To that I say, if you want to be that knobhead wearing miu miu be my guest matey!
After that we got some REAL Hong Kong shopping done. The kind with no fixed prices and plenty of ball busting. Not much to say here though, since we didn’t buy much. 
What I can say though is get a load of this view!


A breathtaking view of the city and skyscrapers from the ground level! It’s one of those views which photos do no justice but it is breathtaking. 
Anyway, our plane to Israel leaving soon. There’s a lot that I’ve missed (Friday, the airport, other things) but those will have to wait. I’ll post this now while we’re still grounded and while i still have mobile data available!

Check back for more updates  Weeeeee!!! 

Quick update!

If you’re still following, you’re a cool person with a fine taste in travel blogs. 

now I hate to be one of those food dickheads but this chow is top notch. There’s nothing more that I love more than s good Buffett and my hotel has tasty brekky!
One snap is all I’ve got time for (hotel wifi sucks) but I’ll try to find time to write up a post soon. The wait will be worth it! We’ve been doing all sorts of things, meetings all sorts of people! 

Breakfast desert? Yes please!

Classy restaurant  


My cute little mum enjoying her waffles



We’ve finaly landed in HK! Not much to say here, but this airport is way too big. I swear we walked a good kilometre from our gate to the carousel (thankfully there are those ground escalators on the ground that help you walk faster). 
I took photos so look forward to an update when I get in hotel wifi!

Off we go!

We’re on our way outta the house and into the airport. Considering we got up at 6 in the morning during the famous Melbourne winter, it wasn’t too cold. Anyway, after the old man busted my balls a bit for not getting outta bed quickly enough, we all showered, changed and out the door. Pop’s friend (this old Iranian fella with a white hair and a brush ‘stache) is driving us over right now in his comfy, spacious SUV. 

As we sat in traffic, I lazily glanced over and noticed some knob-head in a a Mazda 3 frustrated behind a big slow truck. “What a dickhead!” I said to myself and felt relieved that I won’t have to deal with any more Mazda 3 driving wankers for a good month. 

Onto the airport! Thanks for reading! Check back in a day when I’m in Hong Kong!


Thanks for visiting my blog! I’m Patrick and I’m going ’round the world with the family. We’ve planned this trip a while ago and it’s going to be 100% coolbeans – mum’s looking forward to it, little buddy is keen and even old pop’s back is hurting less.

We’re headed to Israel to join my sister Parissa (whom I call “buddy” or “little buddy”) and bring her home. We start with Hong Kong, then Israel, Turkey, Italy, Hong Kong again and finally home.

Along the way, I hope to drum up a bunch of wacky stories to write here, whether they happen to me or I hear about it from someone. Hopefully, I’ll also be able to put up photos and videos (videos especially – I would like to upload a few of these if free wifi permits).

That’s all for now. Hope you will keep visiting over the next few weeks!